smoking and joking the day away
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One of the major mistakes people make is that they think manners are only the expression of happy ideas. There’s a whole range of behaviour that can be expressed in a mannerly way. That’s what civilisation is all about - doing it in a mannerly and not an antagonistic way. One of the places we went wrong was the naturalistic Roesseauean movement of the Sixties in which people said, “Why can’t you just say what’s on your mind?” In civilisation there have to be some restraints. If we followed every impulse, we’d be killing one another.
— Miss Manners (Judith Martin).